Channeling My Inner Iron Chef

I manage a home for adults with developmental disabilities. Sunday, I worked in another home, one I do not know well. I was helping out, because it's that time of year when we get short staffed because of graduations and vacations. One of the residents of the home had just had a birthday, and he told me he had not had a cake yet. He wanted a cake. Well … maybe I could make him a cake ...

I searched the cupboards for a cake mix. Nothing. I even looked behind other things. Still nothing.

Well, okay … there is always making a cake from scratch. There was almost a full 5-pound bag of sugar. So far, so good. But flour …? None. I found corn meal, but no flour. Can I make a cake from corn meal? Maybe I should keep looking.

Lots of canned veggies … and soups … and garbanzo beans. Garbanzo beans! Now we are getting somewhere. I first made Chocolate Garbanzo Bean Cake when my brother was on a gluten-free, “I may have Celiac’s” kick (it turns out he isn’t gluten intolerant after all, but that’s another story). I made the cake for a family gathering and it was a hit by all who tried it – and no one could guess the “secret” ingredient.

I looked up the recipe on my iPhone. Okay … so are there chocolate chips? I need chocolate chips for the Chocolate Garbanzo Bean Cake. No. None. But there was chocolate pudding. The kind you have to cook. Hmmm ….

I searched for variations of garbanzo bean cake. There was one with lemon. Nope, no lemon in the house. There was one with whey proteinpowder. Could I use chocolate pudding instead of whey protein powder? Hmmm ….

So … I took stock of what was actually in the house. Lots of eggs. Lots of milk. Lots of vinegar (Crazy Cake takes vinegar). A really old can of baking powder (I couldn’t even find an expiration date). Imitation vanilla extract. Applesauce (some recipes use applesauce instead of oil or as added moisture). I did eventually find a tiny amount of flour tucked in the back corner of a cupboard shelf. A few boxes of pudding mix of various flavors. About ½ pint of strawberries. And one can of garbanzo beans.

When working with garbanzo beans, a blender or food processor is recommended. I tried a regular electric mixer once, and it just doesn’t work. I pictured myself having to mash all the beans with a fork. Then, on the counter, past the full dish drainer, I spied a blender!

I jotted down a few ingredients I thought should be in the cake. All I could find for measuring devices was a 1/8 cup measuring cup. No measuring spoons. So all larger measurements were multiples of 1/8 and all teaspoon measurements are approximate. Isn’t that how our grandmothers cooked?

I put everything into the blender and pressed the button. Nothing happened. Duh – I had to plug it in. Still nothing happened. Is something wrong with the blender or with the outlet? Neither, it turned out. The first two buttons control the speed and don’t actually turn the thing on. About a minute later, I had a cake batter – a bit thin, but let’s see how it goes.

I had already preheated the oven to 350 degrees. I had preheated the oven a few hours earlier for lunch and was greeted by a cloud of smoke, because the last person to use the oven had neglected to remove the pan, complete with drippings from cooking some kind of meat. I had closed the oven door really fast, before the smoke detector in the next room realized we had a crisis situation brewing. (This is one of the joys of working in a home, never knowing what you are going to find.)

I had also greased a loaf pan, because that was all I could find that was small. Ideally, I wanted an 8 X 8 or 9 X 9 pan, but I settled for 9.25 X 5.25.

The Chocolate Garbanzo Bean Cake recipe says to cook the cake for 40 minutes. I checked the cake every 10 minutes or so and was thrilled that is actually was baking. After 40 minutes, a knife inserted in the center came out clean. Done!

While the cake cooked, I cut up some fresh strawberries I found in the fridge and sprinkled them with sugar so they would make a nice syrup. If the cake turned out to be edible, the strawberries would substitute for the icing if served strawberry shortcake-style.

I wasn’t around when the guys ate the cake. I told the evening staff that I had no idea how the cake would taste, but that my fingers were crossed that it was all right. I called later in the evening just to check on my cake. I was told the guys had eaten every last crumb. And one of the guys got on the phone to tell me he really liked it and asked if I could make it again. It was the best compliment!

So here is my cake recipe. I will likely tweak it in the future. I’m sure I will end up substituting liberally the next time I make it, based on whatever is in the house I happen to be at and the tastes of the individuals who live in that house. Since not everyone can or should be eating chocolate, I think vanilla or pistachio pudding mix will make excellent flavorings.

DESPERATION CAKE

(Not to be confused with Depression Cake, which is another name for Crazy Cake.)

Ingredients:

1 15-ounce can garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed

2 eggs

1 package chocolate pudding mix

½ cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ cup milk (any kind, including fat-free, lactose-free, or even soy, almond, or rice)

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a small pan, 8 X 8 or 9 X 5 or similar size.

Put all the ingredients into a blender and blend on medium or high speed until everything is thoroughly blended.

Pour into the prepared pan and bake for about 40 minutes or until a knife inserted into the center comes out clean.

Serve with fresh berries or make an icing or serve just plain.

If you want to double the recipe, I would recommend making two batches so the blender can handle it better.

****

Okay … back to gardening shortly ….